ThiborFerenczy
2008-02-04 |  | Hell Explained by a chemistry |  |
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle`s Law gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let`s look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle`s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." |
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ThiborFerenczy
99+ day(s) ago | Thread creator option:
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." |
FieryGallacticos
99+ day(s) ago | O_o Ooober is not amused |
Ooober
99+ day(s) ago | wow... pathetic |
Travvivian
99+ day(s) ago | This just made my day. =D |
FieryGallacticos
99+ day(s) ago | this is good :O |
Omegian
99+ day(s) ago | wow .... finally could read it and like disect this theory ... sounds like something I would write about in my philosophy paper. |
EvilLoof
99+ day(s) ago | yea found it on stumble half a year ago, but it`s good ! |
Lyriel
99+ day(s) ago | NICE.
And I`ve heard this wayyy too amny times.... :P the joke |
Maraudian
99+ day(s) ago | i loved it ^^ |
CSESL
99+ day(s) ago | lol... :D |
DuckofDoom
99+ day(s) ago | lol, I wish I had that much extra time during exams to develop such a theory.
Hmmmm, or the experience last night to base it on. *sigh. |
ThiborFerenczy
99+ day(s) ago | 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." |
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