420Outlaw
2007-04-02 |  | International Council of Men |  |
Rules of Being a Man
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss`s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you`ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy`s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy`s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy`s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you`re sunning on a tropical beach ... and it`s delivered by a topless model and only when it`s free.
10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
11: Unless you`re in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don`t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13: If a man`s fly is down, that`s his problem, you didn`t see anything.
14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that`s just greedy.
16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you`d better be talking about his choice of beer. |
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StormofBladeZ
99+ day(s) ago | LMFAO AHAHHH DIZ Is FUNNY |
CounterCrazy
99+ day(s) ago | 11 needs to be changed... i fight with women naked but thats just fun. with a guy ya it better be prison
5. only applies if your going to see the girl or guy again... cause if im out of the country haha ill do it
4 a good friend sits in jail with you
12 good luck stopping me
14 agreed
15 im greedy i guess
10 alright... but if he starts it then ill kick back (plus i could use the work out) FIGHT
3 the guy who brings the camara must be video taped not killed
13 if he unzipped it just for you... Hit him or RUN
9 if you have to drink one for a girl it might be worth it
I pretty much agree with the rest of it |
KingHippie
99+ day(s) ago | Exept for the very last one.... I completely agree......
The last one isnt guts or balls Its not-smartity and a deathwish. |
TheShadow
99+ day(s) ago | Whoot i follow most of these rules |
crash05
99+ day(s) ago | i normally don`t follow many rules, but these are pretty much great guidelines, so cheers to 420Outlaw |
Megalodon
99+ day(s) ago | lmao..Thats good.
#18..rotfl..She gets an xbox..haha |
pWn3dN3wb13
99+ day(s) ago | I think I have broken several of these rules :P Especially the part with the sister(and hell no, I am not going to marry her :P) |
Razgriz
99+ day(s) ago | OMFG YEES!!! ROOFL |
DazedAndConfused
99+ day(s) ago | OMG dude this is funniest thing i ever read in my life:P
Fair play to you..
*tauren prints this page out and show it to his missis:P |
420Outlaw
99+ day(s) ago | 17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C`mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
18: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you`d know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
19: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men`s Gymnastics. Ever.
20: We`ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say, "Roll over, fatty, you`re next!"
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Men |
