PizzaTheHut
2011-03-07 |  | jokes jokes jokes |  |
put up jokes any joke will do i don`t care they are all meant as jokes as long as they are here
to all you readers beware some jokes may be rude crude and and incomprehensible take them in the spirit of this thread as plain and simple jokes |
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PizzaTheHut
99+ day(s) ago | well its just a joke read the bottom of my thread header plz |
DrKsTGuArDiAn
99+ day(s) ago | Im all for jokes but baby killing jokes and anything related to harming children as im a father of three greatly offends me and makes me want to kick the living shlt out of anyone who would stoop to such jokes.
* rounds up the guilty and locks them in the stocks while brutally tourturing them with frozen corndogs dipped in turpintine |
HoneyBucket{HH}
99+ day(s) ago | lmao you got issues Fist |
FistOfNoRemorse
99+ day(s) ago | how many babies does it take to shingle a house - depends on how thin you slice then
whats more fun the swinging a baby by its feet - stopping it with a shovel
how do you get 100 babies into a bowl - a blender
how do you get them back out - chips
whats worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree - 1 baby nailed to 10 trees
how do you make a baby stop crawling in circles - take the nail out of its hand
whats blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of a pool - baby with slashed floatys
whats red and yellow and sits @ the top of a pool - slashed baby with floatys
whats black white and red all over and cant go through a revolving door - a nun with a spear through her head
a priest and a rabbi walk down a street, they both see a 5 your old boy. the priest says "id like to screw him" the rabbi says "out of what?" |
PizzaTheHut
99+ day(s) ago | how many babys dus it take to paint a wall?
depends how hard you trow it
now how many babys dus it take to paint a room . . .
depends how many times they bounce |
HoneyBucket{HH}
99+ day(s) ago | decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire! |
ThEpAkIsTaNiEmPirE
99+ day(s) ago | An indian guy and an Chinese guy cant really work with each other. Indian people like to save every penny, the chinese guy tries to take every penny.
Jewish people are cheap but they will spend the money if they feel the product is good quality.
An indian person would question the cost of the good quality and will be like "i can probably get this made for 5 dollars"
He will rip the material as soon as you look away
"How much is it now? I dont buy ripped shirts"
--Russel Peters ahaha. |
Brotherhood
99+ day(s) ago | The taliban!!!!...Al Qaeda...!!!!! |
HoneyBucket{HH}
99+ day(s) ago | Honeybucket |
Buckminster
99+ day(s) ago | 2 jews walk into a bar..
..2 weeks later they own it ! |
PizzaTheHut
99+ day(s) ago | a man walks into the 3rd story bar of his hotel "strange hotel a bar on the third floor . . " he looks around and sees a man in a superman suit "sir you from the comiccon convention nice suit" he sits beside the man and orders a drink wondering if he offended the man
a few drinks later the man turns to him and says "did you go outside today the wind could blow a man right back in trough the window if he juped out" the guy walks up to the window after saying that trows them open and jumps a great gust tips over everyones glasses as a gust trows the guy back in
the man drinks a few more beers then desides to try it as the man crashes to the ground the bartender turns to the guy and says "your a meen drunk superman" |
Brotherhood
99+ day(s) ago | LOL@ BIO...thats great....best one yet...love this thread thanks pizza!! |
DraconianParadise
99+ day(s) ago | Man is walking round a zoo
He stops to admire the Gorilla in its pen and says to the Zookeeper feeding him `Thats a mighty fine Gorilla`
Zoo Keeper says ` 500$ if you shag the gorilla`
Man says `Ok, but on 3 conditions`
1. No kissing
2. No one must find out
3. I`ll need a few days to get the money together |
Biohazard
99+ day(s) ago | imagin heaven if this is hell!
A man dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I`m in hell.
Demon: Hell`s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin` man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you`re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that`s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, rum, guiness, stella, ...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You`re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you`re already dead remember?
Guy: Wow...that`s...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. crabs, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you`re dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don`t mean...
Demon: That`s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that`s right - you`re dead - who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin` place!!
Demon: You homo?
Guy: Uh no.
Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you`re really gonna hate Fridays. |
boudicca
99+ day(s) ago | yea you are right, that would top it haha, i didn`t account for the dead`s, Perhaps a planet with the name of E.0420 can be a forrest =) |
Brotherhood
99+ day(s) ago | would have been even better if it was a Dead planet :) |
boudicca
99+ day(s) ago | Not only that the Name of it is unique the planet type fits PERFECT with it haha. |
HoneyBucket
99+ day(s) ago | Whoot lucky planet name =)
Name E.6666
Useable land 11
Available ore 431
Mineral Strafez Organism
Planet type Rocky |
HoneyBucket{HH}
99+ day(s) ago | lmao Anonymous |
ear614
99+ day(s) ago | And so Chuck Nori................................ |
