07/09/2008 · 04:04 PM
#21
yea, how ironic that anfit discovered a UW artifact on normal, detonates the UW , then lost it after 24 hours to the pirates.
But the pirates needed more than 24 hours so they wouldn`t get hit by every freaking person in the galaxy and have time to prepare their statement. So they called a UW mechanic to install a "stop" button on the artifact, which they promptly pushed.
After they issued the statement, they couldn`t figure out how to start it again because installing a "stop" button on a UW artifact has never been tried before. Installing a stop button on such artifacts was highly unorthodox procedure and was bound to cause problems. So they called in the UW mechanic to install a "go" button, which he did and they promptly pushed.
He then had the gall to charge them an ungodly amount of money, as opposed to a godly and righteous amount of money. As the pirates were highly religious at heart and didn`t want to be sent to the black hole in the sky where ungodly people go when they die, they promptly refused payment, shot the guy on the spot in order to avoid a dent in their perfect credit score for non payment of bills, and prayed to the Giant Spaghetti Monster for forgiveness.
Unfortunately, the Giant Spaghetti Monster wasn`t too pleased about this turn of events so he promptly blew up all their border planets on all servers and removed the ability to explore for more, thus allowing for the prompt destruction of the UWs.
Unfortunately, the UW mechanic was also a super genius hacker who managed to hack the normal server galaxy. He rigged the whole galaxy so that if he ever perished, 90% of the ships in the galaxy would explode and the entire strafez and food supply would turn into tiny nuggets of super dense cat food. When this happened, most of it was promptly eaten by Ultra`s infinitely hungry pet cat (why u think he buys so much food?).
Hence the reason why the Giant Sphagetti Moster was foiled on Normal Server and why the server is screwed.