Amusing snippets

<MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
<MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
<MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

Thanks KoB, lol

#177548 +(2686)- [X]

<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
<MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
<MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
<MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
<MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
<MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
<MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
<MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond`s lines with "Mr. Anderson."
<MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
<MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
<MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone`s finger and fall down the stairs.
<MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
<MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
<MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
<MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
<MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
<MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That`s what I`m Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
<MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where`s Waldo?"

Its from IRC, channel #spacefed in 2004/05

[12:53:45] <zero> Hmm...
[12:53:51] <zero> Seems I killed the chat
[12:54:35] <Cavelord> You evil chat killer, learn how to hide the body at least

[12:36:35] <WarMonger> hey, i got a problem
[12:36:38] <WarMonger> when i click minimize at the top of IRC
[12:36:40] <WarMonger> it dont go down
[12:36:51] *** DarkStar ([email protected]) has quit IRC [Bleh]
[12:36:59] <WarMonger> it greys the top bar but dont minimize it
[12:37:38] <zero> Running Windows?
[12:37:52] <WarMonger> yeah
[12:37:56] <zero> That`s your problem

(just about the AOL thing, not sure where that originates from, but was sent to me by tregelen)

[12:09:31] [Pandy] .
[12:09:32] [Pandy] August 12 - I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking
[12:09:32] [Pandy] where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the
[12:09:41] [Pandy] kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house
[12:09:41] [Pandy] he`s laughing so hard he can`t eat or sleep or do his homework. So they
[12:09:41] [Pandy] wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor.
[12:09:51] [Pandy] I
[12:09:51] [Pandy] don`t know why the rec.humor group didn`t like my chicken joke. Maybe
[12:09:51] [Pandy] they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts
[12:09:51] [Pandy] of the joke and they used bad words.
[12:09:52] [Pandy] .
[12:10:09] [Pandy] August 13 - I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet
[12:10:09] [Pandy] asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my
[12:10:09] [Pandy] new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want
[12:10:09] [Pandy] to read my favorite poem so I included it. I`m also going to add that
[12:10:09] [Pandy] short story I like
[12:10:11] [Pandy] .
[12:10:27] [Pandy] August 14 - Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I
[12:10:27] [Pandy] told him I don`t have an account at his bank. He`s so dumb.

12:07:32] [Pandy] AUGUST 4 - THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE.
[12:07:32] [Pandy] I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO
[12:07:32] [Pandy] REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE
[12:07:32] [Pandy] TIMES.
[12:07:48] [Pandy] ,
[12:07:49] [Pandy] AUGUST 5 - SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN`T HAVE TO USE
[12:07:49] [Pandy] PROFANITY.
[12:07:55] *** centauri ([email protected]) has quit IRC [Bye]
[12:07:58] [Pandy] ,
[12:07:59] [Pandy] AUGUST 6 - SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES.
[12:07:59] [Pandy] WHAT A not-smart JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING!
[12:07:59] [Pandy] HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?
[12:08:12] [Pandy] .
[12:08:13] [Pandy] August 7 - Why have a Caps Lock key if you`re not suppose to use it? Its
[12:08:13] [Pandy] probably an extra feature that costs more money.
[12:08:24] [Pandy] .
[12:08:25] [Pandy] August 8 - I just read this post called make money fast. I`m so exited.
[12:08:25] [Pandy] I`m going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted
[12:08:25] [Pandy] it to every newsgroup I could find.
[12:08:37] [Pandy] .
[12:08:37] [Pandy] August 9 - I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will
[12:08:37] [Pandy] have to work on it some more
[12:08:51] [Pandy] .
[12:08:53] [Pandy] August 10 - I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few
[12:08:53] [Pandy] posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the
[12:08:53] [Pandy] earth. I wonder what an aol is.
[12:09:19] [Pandy] .
[12:09:20] [Pandy] August 11 - I was asking where to find some information about something.
[12:09:20] [Pandy] Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I`ve looked and looked
[12:09:20] [Pandy] but I can`t find that group

[12:05:26] [Pandy] July 28 - I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer
[12:05:26] [Pandy] but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.
[12:05:36] [Pandy] .
[12:05:38] [Pandy] July 29 - I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because I`m
[12:05:38] [Pandy] connected to America Online not usenet
[12:06:13] [Pandy] JULY 31 - I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN
[12:06:13] [Pandy] ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS
[12:06:13] [Pandy] THIS CAPS LOCK KEY.
[12:06:22] [Pandy] WHY DIDN`T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A
[12:06:22] [Pandy] CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISNT
[12:06:22] [Pandy] THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD.
[12:06:31] [Pandy] I TOLD HIM I
[12:06:31] [Pandy] DIDN`T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN
[12:06:31] [Pandy] IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS
[12:06:31] [Pandy] TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.
[12:06:44] [Pandy] .
[12:06:44] [Pandy] AUGUST 1 - I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT
[12:06:44] [Pandy] CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT
[12:06:51] [Pandy] THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON
[12:06:56] <Engima> lmfao
[12:07:03] [Pandy] AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE
[12:07:03] [Pandy] ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA!
[12:07:03] [Pandy] HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES
[12:07:17] [Pandy] ,
[12:07:18] [Pandy] AUGUST 3 - I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON`T NOW SPIDERS
[12:07:18] [Pandy] GREW THAT LARGE
[12:07:29] <Engima> LMAO

[12:03:03] [Pandy] Diary of an AOL User.
[12:03:03] [Pandy] July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I`ve heard it is
[12:03:03] [Pandy] the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I`d
[12:03:11] [Pandy] better hold onto it incase they don`t ever send me anther one! I
[12:03:11] [Pandy] can`t connect. I don`t know what is wrong.
[12:03:20] [Pandy] .
[12:03:21] [Pandy] July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a
[12:03:21] [Pandy] modem. I don`t see why. He`s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he
[12:03:21] [Pandy] think I am?
[12:03:33] [Pandy] .
[12:03:33] [Pandy] July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn`t figure out where it goes. It
[12:03:33] [Pandy] wouldn`t fit in the monitor or the printer. I`m confused
[12:03:43] [Pandy] .
[12:03:43] [Pandy] July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old
[12:03:43] [Pandy] next door did it for me. But it still don`t work. I cant get online.
[12:03:59] [Pandy] .
[12:03:59] [Pandy] July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America
[12:03:59] [Pandy] Online for me. He`s so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he
[12:03:59] [Pandy] says that`s just another service. What a modest kid.
[12:04:07] [Pandy] He`s so smart and
[12:04:07] [Pandy] he does these services for people. Anyway he`s smarter then the jerks
[12:04:07] [Pandy] who sold me the modem. They didn`t even tell me about communications
[12:04:20] [Pandy] software. Bet they didn`t know. And why do they put two telephone jack
[12:04:20] [Pandy] holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they
[12:04:20] [Pandy] have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone
[12:04:20] [Pandy] jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem
[12:04:27] [Pandy] makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound
[12:04:29] [Pandy] .

[11:40:46] <FurBall> Spam -_-"
[11:40:46] <Engima> heh, I didn`t see what you said
[11:40:46] * FurBall hugs pandy for spam
[11:40:46] <Engima> FurBall, spam?
[11:40:46] <Engima> it`s 6 lines
[11:40:46] <Engima> jesus
[11:40:46] <FurBall> meh , any excuse for a hug
[11:40:46] <FurBall> after all its pandy

[09:45:27] <FurBall> hey lothor
[09:45:33] <loth-work> hey
[09:45:37] <Alucard> FurBall.. I *am* Kinslayer
[09:45:38] <FurBall> youll never here this again but in the 12 hours i havent anoyed you , ive missed you so much , do not quit o.O

[07:34:39] <FurBall> lol
[07:34:46] <FurBall> you cant kill me ... im Gollum !
[07:36:05] * stoner shoots gollum in the head
[07:36:11] <stoner> one dead gollum
[07:36:13] <stoner> heh
[07:36:21] * FurBall cant be killed so easily
[07:36:35] * Cavelord drives a stake through Gollums heart
[07:36:37] <stoner> i failed to mention i was using a bazooka
[07:36:41] <stoner> hehehe
[07:36:43] <FurBall> you have to destroy the ring :)
[07:36:48] <FurBall> the ring :P
[07:36:57] <kiwi> <Furball> please dont kill me
[07:36:59] <kiwi> <Kiwi> whyyour a easy target
[07:36:59] <kiwi> <Furball> im a maru now ill die
[07:36:59] <kiwi> <kiwi> why should i care?
[07:37:13] <FurBall> ....
[07:37:20] * kiwi is bored
[07:37:33] <FurBall> anyone here knows even if you had a counter im to bigheaded to beg for mercy ...
[07:37:44] <FurBall> jeesh your such a give away
[07:37:46] <kiwi> lol
[07:38:19] * stoner sits on FurBall and farts robustly
[07:39:40] <kiwi> hope it wasnt a runny fart stoner :S
[07:40:04] <stoner> no wasnt a shart ,, this time
[07:40:07] <stoner> hehe
[07:40:14] <kiwi> lol
[07:40:26] <FurBall> how sad

[04:07:53] <FurBall> i wouldnt brag twice about killing you once
[04:07:58] <bangsquad> ah yeah kev & me
[04:07:58] <FurBall> or would i ...
[04:08:03] <BLARG> yeah you would
[04:08:12] <bangsquad> both hunting blarg that day
[04:08:15] <FurBall> thats still not the point
[04:08:30] <bip> only newbies brag about killing others
[04:08:37] <FurBall> i took great pleasure in killing BLARG :)
[04:08:40] <BLARG> people would have had a much better kill on me lately
[04:08:51] <BLARG> normally I don`t do any research so I can restart with no big deal
[04:08:56] * FurBall is a newbie then <- has a notepad with over 60 kills :P

[04:00:13] <BLARG> sign onto my messanger clients and get hounded with messages :-/
[04:00:26] <BLARG> yeah that`s what happens when you suck at life
[04:00:40] <FurBall> lol
[04:00:50] <FurBall> dont look at me o.O