jokes jokes jokes

womens rights...lol

<groan>

OK...where`s the Guide? There`s gotta be a rule somewhere about bad taste and even worse jokes ...

smell mah poo hahaha

boudicca ... I don`t get it. So i`ll ask and be the fall guy...

smell mop who?

I only got one joke,

Knock knock

who is there

*Smell Mop*

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else`s fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

16. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he`s a mile away and barefoot.

The 7 Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they are the 7 Dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack.

`Grumpy, my son,` says the Pope, `What can I do for you?`

Grumpy asks, `Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?`

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, `No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome. `

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, `Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?`

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, `No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.`

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, `Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?`

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, `I`m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.`

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

`Grumpy screwed a penguin!`
`Grumpy screwed a penguin!`

two black men walk through a tunnel. on the other end of the tunnel the one man also has 5 dollars